


Alone

by Onlymostydead



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe GTA, Angst, Fake AH Crew, Jeremy is mentioned too, Minor Character Death, Multi, Paranoia, Self-Harm, Weed, no happy ending, ray centric, the others are just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8221850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onlymostydead/pseuds/Onlymostydead
Summary: Maybe Ray was just meant to be Alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't read if you are triggered by self harm mentions or feelings of abandonment or anything like that. Stay safe.

It had always just been him. 

His father left first.  
Ray didn't even really remember him, just little things. His chin was always covered in stubble and he always smelled of alcohol. His voice was most often a yell, but Ray had adored him anyway.   
The truck driving away and his mother trying to explain, that no, Mijo, he isn't coming back.

She went next.  
His mother.  
He lost her first to her jobs, more and more time spent away until having her in the apartment was more of a surprise than not.  
A luxury, those few hours when she was at home. Though few and far between that only made them more precious.  
Soon Ray was working too, her absence not as prominent.   
He had been working when he got the call.  
She had been out for a smoke break, in the alley behind the the little shop at which she had an afternoon shift.   
An unidentified man shot her dead.

After that he was truly alone.

It wasn't so bad. Ray had always kept to himself, after all. He moved into a different apartment on the other side of town.  
Half for the lower costs, half just to get away.  
It wasn't a good area, he knew that. Most everyone in Los Santos knew how to shoot a gun, Ray no exception.

However, He will admit crime wasn't his first choice.  
But you can't really live off minimum wage, and he wasn't a bad shot.  
So why not?  
Life had never particularly mattered to him. Death was just a thing that happened, just another fact. He didn't know these people, so why should it matter?

YOLO, right?

More and more he relied on the odd jobs he'd get , covering a heist, assassinating a few people, it was good money.   
Blood money, hard earned.  
It hadn't been his first choice, but it most certainly had been his best.  
He reflects back on this as he paints his rifle hot pink.  
He'll never get anywhere if no one knows who he is.

It was this that got Geoff's attention. Some kid in a purple hoodie with a pink sniper rifle and deadly accuracy.  
Geoff had shrugged it off at first, but as time wore on they had more and more need for a sniper.  
So he came for him.  
And Ray got the job.

Working with a crew was different from anything he had ever done before.   
He wasn't alone, yet it wasn't a bad thing. He enjoyed the crew, even if he didn't express it often.  
There was always that fear, though.  
There are always people who are better than you at your job, Ray knew that. Somehow, despite knowing they wouldn't, he couldn't shake the feeling that they would get rid of him.  
That he would go back to being alone.  
But they don't.  
Instead they start dating, and the other five all seem to love him. They all seem to care.  
He loves them.  
Before it had just been him, alone with his coping mechanisms.  
Maybe someday he would show them the scars. Someday once they had healed.  
For now he knew what he would do.  
After joining them it had just been paranoia, they would find out, they would find out.  
But now he knows what he can do.  
He disposes of the straight razor he had kept for so long, since his mom left, and he was left all alone.  
It didn't feel like too much of a loss, then.  
Someday he would tell them. Someday he would tell them how happy he was to not be alone.

***

But there are days.

There are those days when everything is wrong, he still can't shake that awful feeling that they don't really love him.  
They start talking about getting a new recruit, expanding the six to seven.   
To Ray, to Ray this sounded perfect. Jeremy was the best thing that had happened to the crew, letting him in closer would be a good move.  
A good move toward replacing him, too.

He didn't think into it too much.  
He couldn't afford to.  
Yet he still found ways to afford to be high nearly every day of the week, because hell if that didn't make him feel better.  
It wasn't until he was lying in bed with the other five that he realized he was still alone.  
Surrounded by people who loved him, yet he had never felt more alone.

Ray ignored it at first.  
They were giving the question of hiring the new guy a few more months, the pressure of that relieved for a time.  
Slowly he began to question all of them.

Geoff, the boss. He protected and loved them, but was he really sincere? His job took first importance more and more these days...

Jack, their strength. They held them all together, always so kind. But did they really mean it? Their quiet, taken at first as comforting was quickly becoming an overbearing silence. 

Ryan, where could he even begin? Ryan, who had been to withdrawn, so far from humanity whom he had watched come back. Or had he really? Ryan's theatrical skill was astounding, what if that was what he was doing? Just playing another part.

Gavin, who always threw himself completely into what he did. But his attention was always elsewhere, flying from one thing to the next. Had he gotten bored?

Michael, his passion had been part of what kept them all going, but now his biting retorts lack the loving undertones they once held.

These were the thoughts, the assessment of the crew that Ray focused on as he pulled out his pocket knife and started yet again on his wrist.

In retrospect, it may have been this that pushed him further away.  
The constant paranoia, picking apart his partners actions until everything felt hostile and unloving, he no longer felt safe with the people he loved the most in the world. He couldn't stand to be around them unless he was high, whether it was weed or blood loss it didn't matter.  
Sitting in the bathroom, pulling down the sleeves of his purple hoodie once again, he felt so alone.

***

The call was made.

Jeremy would join the crew, and Ray knew exactly what he would do.  
It had always just been him.  
He saw that now and accepted it. It was just a part of who he was, he thought to himself as he packed his bag. He was always alone. It was who he was.  
They would be throwing the welcome party for him tonight.  
And Ray disappeared, leaving only a note behind on Ryan's bed.  
It wasn't like they needed him, there were always other snipers.  
Better snipers.  
He adjusted the duffle bag he had swung over his shoulder and kept moving.   
It was just how it was.

He always would be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at Supertinydom!  
> Comments are love <3


End file.
